We met in highschool but didn’t start dating until I moved to Puerto Rico to finish school. It was a tough 2 year long distance relationship/engagement and I still don’t understand why I waited so long in responding with my true feelings for him, but that is a story for another day.
The announcement of our engagement was met with joy and good wishes. Everyone wanted to know the date of the big day. I thought this meant that planning a wedding and receiving help would be equally as joyous, but I was rudely mistaken.
Our wishes were to have a wedding on December 25th, Christmas Day (the day I showed up at his door step weeks after I told him my feelings). We weren’t looking for the royal wedding, just something modest but unforgettable, as a wedding should be.
“No one is going to show up” “The venue is not available” “Alison why are you rushing into a marriage?” “I don’t like those colors” Why cant you just have a simple dinner?” “Plastic cutlery is cheap”
I know now that your wedding is not your own, but for others. In the end we didn’t have the good wishes we received when I first told everyone of our engagement or the christmas wonderland wedding we spent hours dreaming about. We changed our date, picked different food, even switched the venue.
And in the end some of the most important people (and the most opinionated) in our lives wouldn’t show that night. It was heartbreaking.
I didn’t get my christmas wedding but I did recieve something greater. A living room full of great people and the ceremony that would unite me to my bestfriend till death do us part.
If I could do it over again I would have the same Yang&Owen style wedding along side my closest friends and save all my money for a kick ass honeymoon.
If you want it big, small, courthouse, or simply yourselves and the minister, do it!!! But remember to do it for yourselves. Don’t take anyone into consideration because in the end they might not even show up.
-Yours truly
whatsgoingonwithalison 
Reblogged this on chefchrislee and commented:
This is my Amazing wife’s blog. We’re both new to this and if you’d like, check her for advice on weddings and relationships, recounts of being newly married, the struggles of being a woman in a man’s world, news in nursing, dealing with school and the dramas that follow suit, juggling times between work and friends, and the always favorite: sex advice for young women. She really is about the wisest, most interesting person I’ve ever known (and believe I’m not just saying that to avoid sleeping on the couch tonight) and I have learned more about life, love, happiness, pain and ways to cope with it – with her than anything else that this world had to offer. She truly is amazing so definitely keep a keen eye for all of her future endeavors and check out whats going on with Alison! (Did you see what I did there?)
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I agree that weddings should be up to the couple. Weddings are already stressful and should be a time of happiness, so I don’t understand why other people have to make it their business to just add on to the stress. Not to mention, the wedding is about the bride and groom, so it is representative of who they are, what they like.
When I was young, I said I wanted a black wedding dress when I got married. My mother (who for many reasons I no longer speak to) had a fit, screaming that if they paid for the then hypothetical wedding that they would decide if the dress was acceptable, where it would be, they would have picked the groom if they could. Umm… No, that is not you offering to pay out of kindness, that is you trying to gain leverage to make me a “normal woman”. I have tattoos, piercings, and dye my hair bright colors on a whim. I love all things creepy, dark, and a bit morbid, and for my music, if it’s too loud, you’re too old. Very little about me is normal. And I like it that way, it’s ME. So I knew even then that I’d pay for my own wedding and do it MY way, not theirs.
Now that I am older and beating my own path in life, my boyfriend and I have decided that we are having a red and black themed “Redneck Scottish Gothic” wedding, since he is from Scotland and I am from Mississippi. Complete with a red and black dress for me, and a red and black kilt for him, and I know I’ll be barefoot halfway through the reception, Then, we’re going to spin out of the driveway in the Hellcat. Because we will honor both our roots, but we’ll do it in our way. Because there’s so much more to us and our relationship than a white dress.
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Redneck Scottish Gothic? That sounds like a real wedding! Can I come? Lol
But I can completely relate. Everyone gets to that point in their lives where they have to put their foot down and let their parents know that they can no longer order, but suggest, and it is our choice whether we want to follow or take another path.
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Lol Sure!
Yes! Too many times I have seen parents try to either control their children’s lives or live through them when they become adults. Some people I know live in misery because of how their parents pushed their lives onto them.
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I think a wedding should be that one day in your life you don’t have to think of anything when the day has actually arrived.. Where I’m from people may “gossip” about how you planned your wedding but the day itself there are usually (in my experience) no complaints or “You should have done this or that”.. I see it like this, if they want to plan a wedding, they should plan their own wedding instead and stay out of mine! And i’m secretly wishing the people I have on my guestlist will let me know half isn’t coming so I’ll have to pay less for the food. Why are these things so expensive. -_-
But yes. Welcome to wordpress! 😀
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Lol wayyy to expensive! Thank you for your warm welcome 🙂
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